I believe we had the sweetest relationship. That’s what everyone said anyway.
We had the full package- coffee dates, star gazing at midnight, and random phone calls just to say hi. Our relationship was going strong forever and we thought we had everything planned out nicely for the future, with each other in it. She was going to study medicine and I was going to work in a book store.
What we didn’t expect was the sudden news that she was struck with cancer and we had found out too late. It was already at Stage 4 and spreading quick like wildfire. The doctors tried to treat her but like I said, it was too late. They advised us to take her home and let her live the rest of her days out in her own living room.
I wanted to stab them. See her lying there like a useless piece of wood? Why couldn’t they do something? Mum and dad tried to console me but I knew that they were hurting too and I told them to just leave me alone.
Yes, this sounds like a cliché story where one dies and the other is left behind to mourn their dead body. But you don’t understand. Nobody does.
Those few weeks that followed was a complete nightmare. I was literally a zombie, juggling work and late nights spent holding her thin hands that became weaker and weaker until she couldn’t even lift them up anymore. Lying there on the couch, she looked like a skeleton and my heart ached everytime I looked at her.
I cried until I my tear ducts were as dry as the desert. People were kind enough to visit and sympathize and I appreciated it but it could never bring her back. She was irreversible. Where was that smiling face I was so used to seeing everyday after returning home from work? Where was that bubbly laugh that I adored? Where was the positive vibes she emitted everywhere she went?
At two in the morning, mum woke me up and I rushed downstairs without her having to explain anything. I grabbed her lifeless hand. It was icy cold. I believe my heart stopped for a few seconds. Then the wailing started and I couldn’t stop.
This was it. She was gone. Forever. I could never get her back. Ever. Again.
The next one week flashed by in a blur. Countless people stopped by and expressed their condolences. The whole house was overwhelmed with the scent of flowers all of which I wanted to fling at the wall but didn’t because I knew that’s not what she would have wanted me to do.
When everything was finally over, life settled back to “normal.” Of course, nothing was ever normal again. There was the gigantic empty hole in my heart and no amount of patching could ever mend it.
Nothing could ever bring her back.
Nothing could ever replace her.
The only one I ever had.
Hahaha what a depressing thing to write but I just felt compelled to write this for some reason like half an hour ago. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this sad-ish story (depending on your emotional level lol).
Were you guys convinced this was a story of two lovers?